Have you ever found yourself indulging in a tub of ice cream, going on an impulsive shopping spree, binge-watching a Netflix series, or endlessly scrolling through social media late into the night, only to later wonder, “Ughh, What was I thinking?” Many of us resort to these coping mechanisms to escape our realities or numb our pain. In extreme cases, some even turn to substance abuse. It’s often easier to distract ourselves than to confront our internal turmoil.
I’ve been guilty of all the above and more until I realized that nothing external could fill the void within me. Friends, relationships, food, fancy handbags, and achievements provided temporary pleasure but never true comfort. Despite taking good care of my physical and emotional health, I found myself still running from core issues. Even meditation, though helpful, wasn’t deep enough. Something was missing.
I began asking myself, “Why do I do what I do?” The answers didn’t come immediately. What I needed was a deeper connection with myself, which led me on a journey of self-love. I didn’t understand what love meant because I had never loved myself unconditionally. I had placed conditions on my self-worth, only allowing myself to feel happy if I looked or behaved a certain way or achieved something. This led to constant self-criticism and a perpetual feeling of not being enough. Love shouldn’t be conditional; love just is.
My childhood was emotionally unfulfilling and traumatic, resulting in low self-esteem. I tried to prove my worth through perfectionism, a pattern that persisted into adulthood. Like many, I masked my issues with achievements or distractions instead of confronting them.
The journey to healing and self-love did not happen overnight. It took courage to confront my inner demons and persistent effort to heal and uncover the root cause. Was it easy? Hell no! Through multiple healing sessions, yoga, therapy, and a complete overhaul of my lifestyle and relationships, I discovered a profound sense of peace and contentment. I’ve become more aware of my patterns and now have a comfortable relationship with myself. I no longer seek to fill a void with external sources. I accept and love myself as I am, without needing external validation. My social activities and relationships are now more fulfilling, and I no longer run away from myself. I am SELF-SOURCING and no longer outsourcing.
As someone who has experienced the transformative power of a mix of modalities firsthand, I am now passionate about guiding others on their journey to finding and embracing themselves. The journey is not easy but I am committed to offer a nurturing and supportive space.
If you catch yourself constantly seeking external distractions or validations, ask yourself: “Am I running away from or towards myself?” You might be surprised by what you find within.
And if you feel ready to transmute the pain you are avoiding, discover the strength and love within you, reach out to me to discuss how I can guide you.
Please note that I offer holistic guidance as a certified art therapy practitioner, trauma-informed coach, yoga instructor, and energy worker. However, I am not a licensed therapist, and I utilize a mix of modalities in a non-clinical setup to assist individuals on their journey to self-discovery and healing.
Please share this blog with someone you know who might benefit, and feel free to leave comments if you’ve had a similar journey or if the blog resonated with you.
